― Victor Hugo, Les Misérables
Aging is a process that we all go through, and something that we have to manage in our own way.
My wife and I have bi-annual checkups with our doctor, and we'll go over our results with the doctor together.
After going through my blood work, (I am a paragon of internal health, should you know. You better learn to put up with me - my body plans on being around for quite some time!) the doctor asked me if there were any other issues I was having.
"Well, doc, now that you mention it - I have been having trouble sleeping through the night. I go to bed around 11 and get up at 5, but most nights I wake up around 3 am. When I do, my mind is racing. I'm hot, and I can't fall asleep for 30 or 45 minutes. Many nights I just get up early."
"How long has this been a problem?"
"For well over a year. Maybe even longer."
"Do you remember any dreams from right before you wake up?" Doc asked.
"Not specifically. I do dream but they normally don't pull me out of sleep."
As my wife was sitting in on this, she volunteers an explanation.
"What about hormones, Doc?" she asks. "Could it be tied to that and aging?"
"No, it wouldn't be hormones," he replies somewhat sarcastically, "as your husband does not have ovaries!"
Doc pauses to think and then continues.
"I am reluctant to give you a prescription for something like a barbiturate. Those only last for about 4 hours, and by 3 am they would not be effective. I also wouldn't want you to take something at 3, because you would be too groggy when you had to get up. What we need is something less potent."
"What do you mean, like a shot of whiskey?" I ask, half-jokingly.
"Why yes, exactly like a shot of whiskey!" Doc counters.
"At 3 am, with an empty stomach, that whiskey would absorb quickly and calm you down. Even better - 3 parts whiskey to one of caffeine. That caffeine would help supercharge it right into your bloodstream!" His eyebrows waggle at the suggestion.
I sat there in disbelief. Did my doctor just prescribe me Jack & Cokes? I was incredulous!
"Well, doc, if you think that would help . . ."
I was already running through my head the various delicious whiskeys I have tried over the years. Who would win a spot on my nightstand?
As I processed this new regime over the next several days, I start talking with family, friends and co-workers about this unusual approach. As it turns out, its not so uncommon. My wife's cousin had the same issue, and keeps the tail-end of a bottle of wine on her nightstand. If she wakes up she takes a slug, and the warmth spreading through her body sends her off to la-la land. One of my customers said that his father takes a belt of whiskey when he can't go back to sleep, and he is 85!
The unintended consequence I learned was where I used to dread not sleeping the night through, now I look forward to it!
So here's my 3 am toast: To the upside of aging! When life deals you insomnia, have a belt of whiskey! Doctor's orders!
